


Do You Trust Me?

by youmademyday



Category: Day6 (Band), K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-03-19 23:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 18,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18980995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youmademyday/pseuds/youmademyday
Summary: In which a perhaps-a-little-too-handsome tattoo artist stops Brian from making the biggest mistake of his life.(Or the one where Sungjin knows exactly what tattoos people regret and just can't let the beautiful customer ruin his skin with a cliche butterfly tattoo)





	1. Heartbreak and Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> yikessss I really suck at descriptions so for that I am truly sorry sjjsjsjsksjs  
> This is my first time writing a fic so it's probably going to suck,,,, sorry kids 🤷♀️

This day was not going well.

Not that he hadn't wanted it to go well, of course he had. Nobody wants to hear anything but 'yes' when they ask the love of their life 'Will you marry me?'

Not that Ayeon had said no exactly, just that she was sleeping with someone else and 'didn't think it would be a great start to a marriage'.

Brian felt like telling her that it wasn't a great end to a relationship either.

Four years of his life that he would never get back. Four fucking years he spent falling in love with her over and over again. Four years since he first saw his perfect woman, and four years later he found himself about a million won out of pocket with a broken heart and nothing left to live for.

Maybe it was the heartbreak that had led him to the decision he was about to make. Maybe it was the bottle of soju he had emptied in the few hours since he had left the restaurant. Maybe it was that little bit of anger bubbling inside of him, most at her, some at himself for being _so goddamn stupid_. Whatever it was that had led that little reckless urge in Brian's mind to somehow take over the rest of his common-sense-brain, all he knew was that he had walked to quite possibly the furthest tattoo store and pushed open the door.

"Can I help you?"

Brian felt his confidence suddenly waver as he stood in the doorway faced with quite possibly the most handsome man he had ever seen, (not that Brian was gay or anything, because he most definitely wasn't), "Um, do you perhaps take walk-ins?"  
"Well generally not so late at night but I'm sure I could make an exception for a man who's clearly out of his right mind, I could always do with the money- so, what is it that you'll be wanting from me today?" The handsome man smiled encouragingly at Brian and gestured him towards the chair, which Brian reluctantly sat in, because he wanted the tattoo and not at all because he felt like he'd be letting the other down if he didn't. "I-I was thinking about a butterfly- on the back of my shoulder," he nodded to himself as he felt the buzz of the alcohol return slightly, along with his drunken-confidence, "Butterfly, red and orange and yellow and prettier than that snake Ayeon-"  
"I'm not going to pretend I know who that is and I don't exactly wish for you to tell me, but I am absolutely not giving a drunk man a _butterfly_ tattoo," Brian pouted slightly at the sound of that, and looked up at the stranger with his best puppy-dog eyes, "But I have money-"  
"Mhm and as much as I love money, I'm not giving someone as cute as you a butterfly tattoo, you should be thanking me really~" That was the second time Brian had seen that damn intoxicating ass smile and he swears to any god that exists if he sees it again he's going to either kiss it or punch it wait- definitely punch. If Brian saw this man smile like that at him again he was definitely going to punch this very handsome man in his stupid smiling face and then get himself beat the fuck up by the much larger man standing over him with a needle and _wait a second did he just call him cute???_ Because that makes Brian really _really_ damn mad and yet why is he overwhelmed by the urge to do exactly as this man says? A man who won't even give him a butterfly in exchange for _money_ as if this man could be so inconsiderate to what Brian wanted when he was a paying customer and- "Thank you."  
"My pleasure princess~ but I'd still be happy to help with your butterfly another day when you're thinking just a little bit more clearly, but I'd much prefer to give you a much cooler tattoo if you ever find yourself around here again, either way-" the man pushed a business card into Brian's hand and then reached out one of his own to help Brian up from the chair, which he reluctantly took and completely ignored the shiver he felt as they touched, "you have my number. Do you need me to call you an uber? It can be dangerous around here and I'd hate to see that beautiful face of yours harmed in any way at all, plus I need you out of my shop now- closing time."

The last thing Brian remembered of that night was being gently pushed into a car and waking up in his now much emptier apartment. He woke up with a hazy memory of a most handsome face, and a business card with some numbers hastily written on the back, though the front read; 

**Park Sungjin**  
**Colors & Wishes Tattoo Parlour**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for getting through this~ I know that it's nowhere near the best but hey attempts were made sjksskjs  
> sorry for any mistakes in this since i just kinda wrote it all in one go--  
> and also absolutely no hate to Ayeon because I absolutely love her but I just kinda needed a girl to break Brian's poor little heart :((  
> I'm also sorry this was so short, but let me know if you guys want any more and I'll try my hardest to keep going with this :)


	2. Pretty Boys and Foxes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the kudos on the last chapter! I know this one has been released quick but to be honest I’m excited that this got any attention.  
> I’m sorry for any mistakes on this chapter since I low-key wrote it on my phone in the bath- I guess that’s a little worse than at 2am on a laptop? Either way I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Sungjin sighed as he dropped his bag next to the door of his apartment and closed it behind him. 

It had been a pretty slow day, and he had sent his only customer of the day home without a tattoo, one he would have regretted or otherwise. 

He really shouldn’t have done that. 

But what he did was good right? Maybe he had never questioned a customer’s wishes before but this one was _cute_. He was cute and he was _hot_ good god was he hot- “Bob why are you standing in the hallway?” Good god the giraffe was back- what the fuck was Jae doing back in his apartment when he was meant to be at his girlfriend’s? Well technically it was their apartment, but though Sungjin liked the extra help with his rent, he especially liked it when Jae felt obliged to help him with his rent despite staying with his girlfriend. “Aren’t you meant to be somewhere else? Like not here, perhaps with a certain girlfriend?”  
“I live here, and she told me to get out for a couple of days, she broke up with her other boyfriend and she said it wouldn’t be fair if he came round. But anyway why are you just standing in the doorway?”  
“Gay panic.”  
“Oooh nice I’ve missed Bob’s gay panic- is he hot?”  
“And cute and pretty- and I also refused to tattoo him even though I’m broke-“ he looked over at the older and cut him off before he could start questioning it, “He was really really pretty and he wanted a damn _butterfly_ Jae, I can’t give out butterfly tattoos to drunk and clearly heartbroken people! Especially not cute ones who look like foxes, you know how much I love foxes.”  
“I have literally never heard you mention foxes before in my life, and for fuck’s sake we are BROKE- did he at least seem interested in you?”  
“Well he was drunk- and uhh probably straight, if I had to take a guess I’d go with no?” Sungjin looked down at the floor with that, he did understand that what he had done was pretty stupid- but he hadn’t seen anyone he was even kind of interested in since Jaebum had left him last year, and it was _so hard_ to find people in Seoul who were gay, or boys that looked pretty, so he found himself panicking quite a lot. 

It wasn’t usually like this though. 

Sungjin felt like that boy had snatched his heart the second he had walked in and he couldn’t just let him do something he would have regretted- even if they never saw eachother again. “I’m never going to see him again am I?” Jae just shook his head and smiled apologetically, “But just in case you do please just tattoo the man,” Sungjin nodded slightly and walked further into the apartment just to flop on the sofa, “So how’s your girlfriend doing anyway?”  
“Ayeon? She’s fine,” that name made Sungjin shoot up, “You never told me her name was Ayeon—“  
“Yup, Baek Ayeon, I’ve been seeing her for about three months now remember? She has the other boyfriend- I’m pretty sure they broke up last night, dude proposed-“ at that point Sungjin wasn’t sure whether he should punch his roommate or hug him, “Do you think that other boyfriend could possibly have wandered the streets getting drunk and then asking super handsome tattoo artists for a butterfly tattoo that would be ‘prettier than that bitch Ayeon’?”  
“Bob you never even met her I don’t think it’s exactly in your rights to call the woman a bitch, I mean she cheated on her long term boyfriend but with _me_ like can you really blame her— ohhh fuck it’s the dude isn’t it?”

Sungjin didn’t know whether to hug Jae or punch him. 

Because now he was living with the guy who had brought the fox into his shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading through this! I mean it because it absolutely sucks sjsksjs  
> Make sure to leave a comment if you want me to write more— I probably will anyway but they make me happy sjskjs


	3. Phone Calls and Appointments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not gonna lie to ya kids— I can’t stop writing

Two days. 

It had been two days since Brian had seen Ayeon, two days since he had last left his apartment. For two days he had been staring at a business card for a tattoo shop and wondering why he couldn’t find a single tattoo on his body, wondering why the number scribbled on the back of the card was different to the one on the front. 

Brian had spent two days wondering whether the handsome man, Sungjin- he presumes, had been flirting with him, or if that was just how he spoke to everyone. Not that it mattered either way, because Brian was definitely not gay, he just didn’t want to lead anyone on- especially not somebody that handsome who looks like he could beat the shit out of Brian. 

But good _god_ the memory of that smile still gave him goosebumps, that smile alone was almost enough to make Brian question if he was in fact gay. Almost but not quite- well maybe a little bit. 

Brian could tell he could definitely get used to seeing that smile every day for the rest of his life. He maybe wondered if he should get a tattoo just so that he could analyse that smile again, or maybe he wasn’t thinking clearly- maybe—

No. He was thinking clearly. 

He was thinking so clearly that he picked up the phone, and called the number on the FRONT of the business card, surely that one had to be more professional right? 

Brian started to regret his decision as soon as that soft deep voice answered “Hello?” And he felt his confidence waver, there was no turning back now. “I’d like to get a tattoo, does Tuesday work for you?” Brian could practically hear that stupid smile over the phone, but he still felt a little shocked when he heard the man’s answer, “Tuesday sounds fantastic princess, butterflies?” _Holy fuck he remembered him-_ Brian shook his head before remembering that wasn’t exactly a sound, “Surprise me-“  
“Alright buttercup, I will see you Tuesday at five, good?”  
“Yeah that’s good- don’t you need a name?”  
“I know a face.”

The line went dead. 

What the fuck kind of tattoo parlour doesn’t need a name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I would love to thank everyone for more kudos and comments but I’m writing this before I got any sjskjsks so thanks for that one extra bookmark! I’ll be sure to update this as long as I have inspiration or until it ends, and hopefully the latter comes first!  
> I’m also sorry that this one is so short- it’s a bit of a filler chapter really sjskjs


	4. Doodles and Daydreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m considering pre-writing these instead of updating like four times a day but I really can’t help it sjsksj, is probably lose them knowing me

Quite frankly, Sungjin was bored out of his mind before the phone rang. 

Sure, art is fun or whatever but sometimes the most _boring_ people came in, and Sungjin was forced to spend hours talking to them as he worked his magic. 

Obviously he loved his work, he loved leaving such beautiful marks on people’s skin, he loved setting his own hours and going home for lunch. He was quite frankly living his dream- he just couldn’t stop feeling empty. 

So while he felt a little bit stupid for not taking the fox-eyed man’s name, he has to admit it was a damn good line. 

And he felt a lot happier talking to his criminally boring customer now as he finished up the ornate swan on his thigh. 

And he felt a lot happier as he locked up for the day and headed on home. 

Sungjin felt a whole lot happier as he sat down at the small table in the kitchen and took out his sketch pad to think up something wonderful to draw on such a beautiful man. He had asked for Sungjin to think something up after all. 

Jae was barely even surprised when he walked in to see dozens of sketches strewn across the apartment, it wasn’t exactly an uncommon scene for him to come across and it generally meant that the younger had a lot of appointments lined up, which is of course exactly what the elder than assumed, “Busy week Bob?” Sungjin visibly jumped in his skin, “Can’t you knock or something?”  
“Absolutely not I live here, plus you get all weirdly caught up in your design world when you’ve got a lot coming up,”  
“It’s not a lot it’s just one appointment-“ Sungjin sighed and finally turned to look at Jae, “But it needs to be perfect.” He promptly went back to his plans, which partly included ignoring Jae. “Not everything has to be perfect, Sungjin. Everything I’ve ever seen you do is amazing, even if it is just a shitty butterfly-“ Sungjin groaned at that, “Just because I’m amazing at drawing butterflies doesn’t mean people should get them, it’s a really common tattoo I have to be good at it- people pay me-“  
“So you’re not going to let any more pretty guys get away without butterflies? Since yknow, we're broke-“  
“No I’m going to give him something much nicer that he won’t regret, Tuesday at five.” He smiles softly at the thought of seeing the other man again and decided to really ignore everything Jae said this time, making money was absolutely not a bad idea, just a bonus if the guy who’s paying him happens to be an absolute dreamboat.

Sungjin felt a whole lot happier every day leading up to Tuesday, and just a tiny bit of him hoped that the fox-eyed man was exited to see him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all <3


	5. Colors and Wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me managing to put a few hours between updates! love that wow

What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

Brian had done some pretty stupid things in his life, he had eaten crayons as a child, he had put his hair in some very questionable styles, he had fallen in love with a cheater (and spent quite a bit of money on an engagement ring). In fact it seemed the only stupid thing that he _hadn't_ done, was to get a butterfly tattoo.

That's why it seemed so damn stupid to him that he had made a tattoo appointment. And not even tell the man what he wanted, who _the actual fuck_ tells a tattoo artist to 'surprise them'? What the fuck Brian?

On top of that, Brian didn't even know much about tattoos. Really he was just hoping that it didn't hurt too much. And on that thought, he took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the 'Colors and Wishes Tattoo Parlour', a place he had barely any memory of, except for of the man inside.

"I'm very sorry but we're not taking walk-ins right now, I have an appointment in half an hour," a voice called out from the back room, good god why on earth was Brian so happy to hear that voice? "Actually I think that's me-" Brian called back, feeling even more nervous now than he was before, especially now that Park Sungjin himself had poked his head round the door and was now looking straight at him with that damn smile on his face, "Well someone's a little early, excited?"  
"Bored mainly, work thinks I'm sick so I didn't have much else to do-"  
"Why would work think you're sick?"  
"Because I told them I was, my ex works with me and I don't want to be there- though I also don't want to take my vacation days," Brian looked at the floor a little embarrassed with himself for talking so much already. Sungjin just shook his head, "As much as I would love to judge, I can leave whenever I want to," he smiled at him again and Brian felt himself melt just a little bit, "So did you get any ideas or are you still going to be weirdly indecisive about what's going to be permanently inked into your skin?" Brian was pushed gently into the chair and sat for a second to think, before nodding confidently "I'm going to stick with weirdly indecisive- stab me tattoo man."  
"Look who's found that confidence, I love that confidence that's where about half of my income comes from. I've got some sketches in the back for you to look at but its all very low pressure okay? Take your time, this is important." Brian just nodded as he watched the most handsome man walk away once more, wondering why he felt so much happier here than he ever did in four years with Ayeon. 

Wondering what exactly it was about Park Sungjin that made his heart feel so warm and full of happiness. It was stupid really, this was Brian's first time even meeting the man sober, they've never even introduced themselves. It was really very stupid indeed. Very, very stupid.

And yet Brian still felt himself smile slightly as the other man re-entered the room.

Maybe Brian should start questioning his sexuality after all-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to the bby papabearpsj (I have no idea how to mention people for always leaving me nice comments :((((  
> this one was really short as well, but I'd really prefer to write this bit from Sungjin's perspective so writing brain was kinda screaming at me to get this chapter done!!!


	6. Trees and Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been wanting to do nothing but write this all damn day and yet here I am feeling just a teeny bit starved for inspiration (despite thinking all day, I know it makes no sense)  
> So uhh yeah I'm sorry if this is bad :/

It took Sungjin a little over a minute to gather up his designs and only a few seconds more to walk back out into the main shop, which was a couple seconds too late for him to start doubting himself as he handed them over to his new favourite customer.

He honestly wasn't sure he had ever been this desperate to please someone. Or why on earth he was so nervous, nervous wasn't exactly a feeling Sungjin was all that used to but this was definitely it. Why was he so tense about showing his drawings?

"Did you do all this for me?" Sungjin felt his breath catch in his throat as those piercing eyes turned their attention to him,  
"Well I didn't really have much to work with- and I was bored and- I should probably just say yes shouldn't I?" He laughed nervously and looked down at his drawings once more before coming to his favourite, "I really like this one, but I'm not sure it's something you'd want-"  
"It's beautiful," Sungjin couldn't help but smile proudly at the look on the other's face, "Who wouldn't want this?"  
"Well if I'm honest I think it'd only suit a very special sort of person, I could do it small- I just always wanted to do something like this really big, and that's not exactly screaming 'first tattoo' at me. It would take hours, you'd have to come here three or four separate times. It would just be a big commitment for the both of us," he stopped talking as he realised he was rambling on a little, "I couldn't stop you from getting it done small, I just think it would be a shame when it could be so beautiful- I could keep adding to that design forever." Sungjin sighed slightly at the thought. "I'm sorry, I just really like the tree of life- and on a person too- it's just wow, and I wouldn't want to put you through it. You might really not like getting tattood."  
"How much does it hurt?" Throughout his life Sungjin had tried his absolute best to be nothing less than completely honest, but god if he didn't want to sugar coat this out of some strange new urge to protect this man from pain at any costs, it was probably that look on his face- "It's generally described as a scratching or stinging pain, though it generally subsides after a couple of minutes. It also hurts more in different areas, but the back is generally in the less-painful category," he watched the other's face carefully in case he was scaring him, "I would recommend the back for a first-timer, or arms or thighs- but people don't generally see thighs. Different people react differently is all, there are different thresholds for pain and the first time is always a bit of a shock."  
"Then how do you react?" Sungjin found himself smiling again, no customer had ever really asked him about himself before,  
"As long as I know I can trust the artist, I think the process is quite relaxing, the pain isn't unbearable in most places and as long as you trust your artist you just know that you yourself are becoming a work of art."

”You really love doing this don’t you?”  
“I really love doing this.”  
“Well then I’d say I can trust you Mr Park~”

And good god he was smiling. How did that smile look more beautiful than anything Sungjin could ever draw? How did it light up the room better than any lightbulb? He swears this boy could smile competitively, not that it would be a competition, at least not a close one. 

“So is there anything that could be added to this tree that might look alright by itself?”  
“I think the moon would look beautiful on you princess~”  
“I’m no princess, just Brian-“ _thatsmilethatsmilethatsmile_  
“Well then princess Brian, I would absolutely love to paint the moon on your shoulder. I’d also quite like to paint the sun on the other, but that might be a bit much for now. I recommend you sleep on it, we’re closing soon and it’s an important decision- sorry to waste your time,”

“I’m not sure any time spent with you is wasted.”

Now that sure made Sungjin’s heart skip a beat, what on earth could he have meant by that?

“I’m taking the week off so I can come back whenever’s convenient-“  
“Surprise me.” The elder smiled and looked down at the floor, only vaguely aware that Brian was nodding thoughtfully, “I’ll surprise you.”

Brian flashed that bright smile of his on his way out, “And take care of yourself for me- you should be well rested right?”

And just like that, Sungjin watched Brian walk away for the second time. 

And he wondered if it would always be this heartbreaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why does my imagination of this tattoo make me wanna cry its so pretty wtf- I'd like to invite you all into my brain to see it but we can't be doing that  
> I’m sorry if the quality went down a little at the end, ao3 managed to delete half of the chapter so— it’s quite a bit shorter than it was originally but I’d still say overall it’s alright-  
> I can generally remember things pretty well so some things I wrote yesterday that I remembered and some are new and improved 👌🏻


	7. Art and Passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a lil short- I’m annoyed that I had to rewrite half my chapter that ao3 deleted-

Brian was not okay. 

Had he been flirting with the hot tattoo artist? Or was that some kind of dream?

Part of Brian hoped that it really was a dream, or at least believed that it was. Nobody was _that perfect_ not even Park Sungjin, nobody could draw that good and look that good. 

People shouldn’t be allowed to look that good AND be talented, that’s simply not fair on everyone else. It made Brian feel that weird way again- somehow he wants to punch Park Sungjin the face but he also wants to kiss him until neither of them can breathe—  
Alright, Brian has DEFINITELY been having gay thoughts since he met Park Sungjin.

Not that he particularly minded that.

As far as Brian was concerned, this man was the epitome of perfection, flawless in every way imaginable. This man was, quite simply put, amazing. 

Just because it confused the heck out of Brian, didn’t mean it wasn’t true. 

Is it gay to want him to be happy every day? Or is it gay to want to be around him, as often as possible?

Brian just wanted Sungjin to be happy, no matter how much it hurt him- which judging by his research on the tattoo process, would be quite a bit. 

He really thought he would mind more about something like this, Brian had never really like the idea of spending hours getting stabbed with a needle- but somehow he didn’t mind. It had all been described so beautifully to him, that Brian didn’t mind at all. 

Brian wanted to be Sungjin’s canvas. He would allow himself to be covered in ink if it made the other happy, Brian wanted to be a masterpiece, something Sungjin could be proud of.

Because honestly, he was just a sucker for anyone talking about their passions. He would probably let someone spit in his mouth if they talked about it with that kind of passion that Sungjin had. 

So really, Brian knew that he could trust Sungjin with his skin because nothing that makes someone light up that much could possibly be bad. 

Brian knew he would be okay as long as Sungjin was around, and maybe that was just the kind of security that he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably say this a lot but thank you so much to everyone for reading this even though it sucks so bad :(( just the amount of hits on this is more than I could ever have imagined and I hope you all gain as much happiness out of this as I do :)


	8. Choices and Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unfortunately its another little filler chapter folks-
> 
> every story needs them :((
> 
> this chapter is a little different ;)

Quite frankly, Jae was rather sick of hearing about Brian Kang.

He could deal with Sungjin, was rather happy for him really. Jae wasn't sure he had ever seen Sungjin look so happy since well- since Jaebum had left him really.

It was honestly refreshing to see Sungjin happy again, even if all he did was obsessively draw trees and moons and a guy that he guessed could only be the one who was taking over Sungjin's brain.

No doubt about it. Jae was definitely pleased that Sungjin had found somebody that had made him happy again. But did it really have to be Brian _fucking_ Kang?

Did it really have to be Brian Kang?

Jae could handle Sungjin, but he wasn't quite sure how to handle Ayeon.

Jae knew that he was the villain in this story. Even if he had indirectly made Sungjin a whole lot happier, he still made a guy so distressed that he would walk into the tattoo shop in the first place. From the little that Jae has heard about Brian (and seen in Sungjin's weird obsessive sketches), he wasn't exactly the kind of guy to just go around and get tattoos. From the little that Jae has heard about Brian, he would never miss a single day of work. And between Sungjin's idealistic version of Brian and Ayeon's description of her almost-fiance, Brian didn't sound like a bad man at all.

In fact, Brian sounded rather perfect in both versions.

Brian Kang, the first grade teacher, the perfect authoritative figure to about a dozen young minds. Brian Kang, the modern romantic, who sets up candlelit dinners and dozens of roses, who writes love letters just to make his partner happier, who would do anything just to make his partner happier. Brian Kang, who stayed loyal to one partner for four years, and who was prepared to do so for the rest of his life. Brian Kang, every girl's dream boyfriend, loving and caring and sweet.

If it wasn't for Jae, Ayeon's Brian would never have become Sungjin's Brian.

Brian Kang, who's not so confident in himself, or in getting his points across. Brian Kang, who skips work to avoid his ex, and to get a tattoo of all things. Brian Kang, who's possibly a little braver than he lets on, who's willing to be a little uncomfortable for the sake of the bigger picture.

Now Jae wasn't exactly one to judge whether these changes were good or bad for Brian, they were certainly good for Sungjin- and Jae presumed he would resume his work soon enough, but they were definitely _changes_.

No matter what Jae tells himself, he completely fucked over some guy's life, for the better or worse was not too clear to him right now, but he had changed a man.

And if Brian Kang were to stick around, Jae knew that his friendship with Sungjin would suffer. Jae knew that he could never face this man when he had changed his life so much.

At least he could rely on Wonpil and Dowoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly can't get over all the hits on this- I know its nothing compared to some fics but thank you so much-  
> This is the first thing i've ever really written outside of my english language class and this is definitely bigger scale  
> (and my grammar is a little off in my notes today because i'm back on laptop and i cba- so we'll save good grammar for the story itself hm?)  
> And thank you so much for your nice comments! I love comments sm like :(((  
> also i know i've been going back and fourth on viewpoints but i was thinking of switching back to brian for the next chapter since this chapter is technically ABOUT Sungjin, but also i'm not really sure so i'd appreciate yalls thoughts :)


	9. Fears and Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost 200 hits is honestly crazy- I also realised that I barely ever know what to write in my beginning notes- generally I write the beginning and end notes before the chapter and add to the endnotes as I write, idk it seems more logical- not a clue what i'm babbling on about when yall want a story

For quite possibly the first time in his life, Sungjin felt truly motivated to live his best life.

He felt happier, he ate three meals a day (and not just junk either), he was the most hydrated he had ever been, and he slept at least a solid eight hours every night. He drew up new designs, he made an effort to see his friends more.

Park Sungjin was taking care of himself.

This had, of course only been going on a few days now - it was new after all - but all in all, Sungjin was happy. He had found his new motivation, somebody who made his life seem less boring. It was his favourite kind of happiness, it lasted, it was longer than just a moment- this was as close as he had ever felt to true happiness.

He had no guarantee how long it would last, when it would be taken away from him. So for that reason, Sungjin decided to enjoy every single second of it.

To be wholly honest, he had been rather worried seeing Brian walk away again. Every time Brian left his sight it felt like his guarantee of happiness left with him. But wow that boy really didn't disappoint.

On Wednesday morning at 8:30, Sungjin had made the short walk from his apartment to his shop only to find the most beautiful man he knew waiting outside.  
"Are you surprised?"  
He was definitely surprised, he wasn't sure a customer had ever been so eager- though he got the feeling that this customer wasn't there just for the tattoo.

Brian was definitely complicated, but it's not as if Sungjin isn't.

It seemed at times as if Jae was more concerned with Brian than Sungjin was. He was constantly asking about how he was doing, was he okay? Does he ever talk about her? When is he going back to work? It seemed like a strange thing for Jae to be so interested in, but he presumed the other felt guilty. From the sounds of his relationship, there wasn't much time when Jae was not told about Brian. Sungjin might not be the most emotionally available himself, but he certainly knows how to read another man.

As for Brian, he was clearly quite complex. From the outside, Brian Kang seemed to be absolutely okay. If he weren't taking time off work, the average person would probably struggle to see how this man was doing any less than fantastic. Between his positive attitude and his supposedly newfound desire to try new things, Brian Kang was the perfect example of a person doing great. But just under the surface it was clear to see that this was a man in crisis, a man who had planned out his whole life - what he thought he wanted - and then watched it crumble before his eyes.

As a gay man, Sungjin had come across his fair share of Brians- though he had never seen one this close before. The Brian Kang had figured out what he was supposed to want at a young age, The Brian Kang was a straight man, a romantic, family man, he was the ideal- exactly what he was meant to be. But deep deep down The Brian Kang was denying himself of something, something always felt a little off, something not-quite-right. Really, The Brian Kang was denying himself who he really was.

Sungjin knew exactly the type that Brian was, and quite honestly it scared him a little.

Brian was trying to find himself through Sungjin, he knew that much. But that really left Sungjin in quite a difficult position. Brian was vulnerable, he was scared to accept who he really was and yet eager to find out. Sungjin was scared that he may be taking advantage of Brian, he wanted to protect him from anything that might harm him- and even if only partially, that did involve Sungjin himself.

Because Sungjin was vulnerable. He was left heartbroken almost a year ago and he felt he could never fully recover. Sungjin wasn't looking for happiness because it was dangerous. Happiness was inconsistent, not to be trusted.

And though Sungjin loved how Brian could light up a room, he hated how much darker it got when he left.

And though Sungjin loved the every second with Brian, he hated the uncertainty of never seeing him again.

Brian was the ideal, and Sungjin did not deserve that.

He hated just how much he loved him, because he knew that some day he would be let down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright kids here's another variation of what I say at the end of pretty much every single chapter-  
> I love each and every one of you guys. Seriously I love you all so much for actually reading this despite how much it sucks.  
> I'm really sorry that I can't deliver 1000+ word chapters for you all like the good writers on here, I'm sorry I sometimes don't know how to reply to your comments. I just want you to know how motivating all these comments and things are. I've really been struggling lately with really finding a good reason to stay alive, and I know it's not great to pin that on things or people because its only temporary but that's how it is- and everything is ending this year, things look grim. But just today I realised that now I can stay here to tell you all about what happens to Brian and Sungjin in the little tattoo shop, and that's good enough for me for now :)  
> So again, thanks to every single one of you for sticking with me
> 
> (and i'm sorry for always talking so much in my notes)


	10. Work and Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a clue where I’m going with this atm so it might be bad 👌🏻 we’ll have to wait and see kids

Brian had gotten himself into a bit of a pickle.

He had some really rather confusing feelings to sort through, and yet no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t think of any kind of logical excuse to go see Sungjin again.

It was Sunday evening and Brian would have to face Ayeon tomorrow, in front of a whole class of kids who respected him. It couldn’t possibly be as bad as he imagines, but it was still a daunting prospect. He missed his kids sure, but Ayeon? He could definitely live without her. He didn’t know how to face it, and somehow the only person he wanted to talk to about it was Sungjin, who he barely knew (though in Brian’s defence, he didn’t exactly have many friends).

Brian had been focusing all his attention on Ayeon, though apparently she hadn’t been reciprocating. He knew that he could probably just call Terry, but he was almost afraid to face him as well- not for any particular reason other than that they had been in contact less and less over the years.

Brian wanted to see Sungjin, not anyone else. He honestly felt quite stupid for being so drawn to the man, and he had no idea how he would react if Brian reached out again, he did love the moon on his shoulder, but he wasn’t planning on adding to it for at least a month or so. But he really couldn’t wait that long to see him again, he couldn’t, it would hurt too much.

Brian didn’t know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ilya   
> This was a bit of filler again- boring I know :( sorry folks-


	11. Nosy Roommates and Romantic Gestures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I didn’t update today kids- I feel like I’m so late but updates are going to get much less frequent soon, I have like two exams a day and visiting family and two birthdays this week- so uhh yeah

It had been about a week since the fox-eyed man had first entered Sungjin’s shop. 

About a week since he had met _the most_ perfect man in the universe. 

He wasn’t exactly sure when he would see him again. This caused Sungjin to spend pretty much all of his waking hours not working sprawled out on the sofa in his small apartment, unfortunately this was met with some resistance from his roommate, “Bob it’s been like two days can you stop being so dramatic?”  
“But he’s pretty-“  
“So are a lot of people, come fantasise about me I’m pretty,” Jae smiled and winked at him,  
“That would cause about a million more problems than it would solve and also, I say this with complete respect for you but honestly, eh-“  
“Okay, I’m hurt- but why don’t you call the man if you miss him so much?”  
“Because I don’t have his number and that would be weird-“  
“Why would it be weird?”  
“Because he's confused and I’m just gay, and I don’t want to confuse him even more, or worse- get rejected by a straight guy,”  
“Okay But doesn’t he deserve to figure out who he is? He’s pretty right? You want him to know who he is-“  
“And what if he decides that who he is has nothing to do with me?”  
“This isn’t about you.” Sungjin sat up at that, in all his time alone he hadn’t had to think about anyone but himself, “If you won’t let him find himself, what’s to stop some gay creep taking advantage? I know you hate it when people make mistakes they regret that could have been easily avoided-“  
“Well I do hate when people make mistakes they regret that could have been easily avoided, and I don’t want any gay creeps near Brian- but I still don’t have his number,”  
“So go meet him from work-“  
“I don’t know where he works-“  
“You don’t? That makes me feel a little stalkerish-“  
“Exactly why are you so stalkerish?”  
“That’s a different issue- you go see him or I will.” Alright Sungjin definitely could not let Jae go see Brian- that boy says all sorts of crazy shit. 

In short, that’s how Sungjin ended up stood outside of the local school, trying desperately to not look like some kind of pedophile- which for the record was a really hard thing to do as a childless man stood outside of an elementary school. 

He didn’t really know what he was going to say, he hadn’t really planned that far. He just knew that even though he was clearly out of place, he had never felt so right. Even if it turned out Sungjin had no place in Brian’s life, he sure as hell wasn’t going to miss his opportunity to try. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	12. Work and Responsibilities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t updated all week and I feel really really really bad so enjoy this terrible chapter- it’s my last week at school so I should come back to my normal writing schedule :((

Needless to say, Brian was not looking forward to going to work. 

Not because of the kids sure- they were great just that he would have to see Ayeon all damn day. It was less than ideal. So much less than ideal that he almost threw up for real and almost considered taking at least a few more days off.

The moon on his back was still stinging slightly as he got in his car and got ready to face the day, it was going to be a long one after all.

After a short drive, Brian was ready to face the classroom. He had made sure to be a couple minutes late, just to try and avoid being alone with Ayeon and sure enough upon stepping into their colourful classroom he was almost immediately pulled over by someone hugging his knees. God he loved this job-

No matter what happened at home, or even in the staff room, there were always fifteen or so little kids ready to fight for his attention. There were only fourteen in the class this year, but Brian already loved them all- especially Jisung, who was currently the one restricting his legs.

”Mr Kang! Miss Baek said you were poorly still but you’re here! Hello!” Brian couldn't help but smile, “Well I’m all better and I’m right here to receive my good share of hugs! I’ve heard they’re very healing, you should be a doctor Jisung~” the boy laughed and finally let go of Brian’s legs, perhaps this wouldn’t be such a long day after all. 

It may not have been a long day but it was definitely exhausting. Brian more or less managed to avoid Ayeon completely, which took up the little energy he had left after running around all day with five year olds. It wasn’t until the end of the day that even the slightest problem started to arise. He couldn’t just not talk to Ayeon as soon as the kids started to leave, especially since some of the parents were coming in complaining about a man outside.

At least one of them was supposed to stay there until all the kids had been signed out by a parent, preferably both of them, but that was mainly because they were paid for every hour they were present in the building, and Brian sure did like money.

So even though Brian wasn’t exactly a courageous manly man, he was still a _gentleman_ and he couldn’t really let Ayeon go deal with the possible pedophile stood just outside their school gates. Still, he felt a sense of dread as he stood up to go outside, dealing with tall tattooed men wasn’t exactly in his pay description and this was only his first day back at work. 

Though Brian soon found that he didn’t have to be afraid at all, because in his panic to deal with the tall, tattooed man he had forgotten that he knew someone fitting that exact description. And that man Brian had been thinking about so obsessively that week just so happened to be stood outside of his gate with a bunch of flowers. It was a somewhat strange sight, but definitely not a bad one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still love you all so much :(((


	13. Coffee and Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand back again- I have a maths exam tomorrow and I’m trying to not stay up too late since I was falling asleep for like all of today but I couldn’t help writing for you guys :(((

Was Park Sungjin the creepiest man alive? He sure felt like it in this moment. 

_People didn’t just do this, this wasn’t a normal thing to do._

He couldn’t believe he had let Jae convince him to do this, because it was quite possibly the dumbest thing he had ever done. 

Sungjin felt like he was in some sappy romance movie- though at the same time he was receiving dirty looks from parents who shielded their kids from this sight of him. Were tattoos really so bad?

As weird as Sungjin felt, he got a whole lot more flustered when he saw a familiar figure walking out of the school. Perhaps he was creepy, but he could recognise that man anywhere- and did he always look that pretty? That was a stupid question _of course he did_. Stupid Sungjin.

And maybe it was just his imagination but did he just see his face light up? He knew he probably didn’t, but it was nice to think about- Brian was probably this smiley the whole time. Stupid unobservant Sungjin. 

He definitely wasn’t expecting the hug. Sungjin definitely wasn’t one for physical contact, and yet this just felt so right to him. Brian was warm, he smelled like cinnamon somehow- Sungjin wouldn’t be surprised if he found out that Brian was some kind of fairy spirit. “Please god tell me you’re not a tattooed pedophile-“ Sungjin almost laughed at the statement, “I’m not a pedophile, I am tattooed though so I’d say halfway there?” He felt a playful slap to his chest, “You better keep being just halfway there- I was scared,”  
“Why would you be scared princess?”  
“Because they sent me to confront the big scary tattooed man at the door, and that’s not what I get paid for-“  
“Then I guess you’re lucky it’s me? But for the record I know plenty of big scary tattooed men, and not a single pedophile,”  
“I could get my ass kicked pretty easily- if you think otherwise then I’m not sure we’ve met,” oh such a beautiful grin- how Sungjin had missed that beautiful smile Brian had, “I wouldn’t let anyone—“  
“Why are you here teddy bear Sungjin? Not to offend you or anything but you’re scaring my kids,”  
“I’m so sorry- I wanted to see if I could take you out.” Sungjin sucked in a breath, he wasn’t quite sure where that confidence had come from but it was too late to have any doubts now, “You look like exactly the kind of person who would have a favourite coffee shop, and I’d love to take you there,” he added, nodding slightly to himself,  
“What kind of person doesn’t have a favourite coffee shop?” Sungjin’s thoughts were interrupted after what seemed like an eternity, “Well I have a favourite bar see-“  
“Then we’ll have to go there next time.”

Next time? They hadn’t even done this time yet-

”I’d love to get coffee, I’m not quite done here yet but I can be done in around fifteen more minutes? There’s just a couple of kids left-“ Sungjin nodded, “Should I go drive around the block- it might look less creepy-“  
“Could you? God you’re amazing-“ Sungjin almost whined as Brian let go of him, he was suddenly a lot less warm. That was when he remembered the bunch of flowers, and awkwardly held them out towards Brian, “For you?” Ah fuck, all his awkwardness was worth it to see that smile. Good god that joy on Brian’s face as he took the flowers, it was worth anything. 

”I’ll see you in a minute hyung!” For just a second he felt Brian half hug him again before he felt a quick peck on his cheek. Wait really? Did he really just feel that?

As he watched Brian walk away, he was almost certain that this had been some kind of dream. Nothing could feel this perfect. 

But then again, it still hadn’t gotten any easier to watch him walk away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never saw this coming but I think I might prefer writing sungjin’s chapters over brian’s sjsksjjsjs


	14. Classrooms and Explanations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t updated in so long !! I’m sorry if I’m a little out of sync with the story today, I’ve been having my last exams and now there’s a damn decorator in my house which I hate but ugh- I’m here to deliver

Brian was met with some very questioning looks when he returned to the classroom with a bouquet of flowers. 

It was fair enough, he had gone outside to ‘fight’ a ‘pedophile’ and that didn’t generally sound like something you would return from with flowers, not by a long shot. 

But he didn’t care what they thought of him and his flowers because he was just so happy. So so happy, and so happy to see Sungjin again after the rest of these kids got out of here. Quite a few were leaving simply because he had returned, there were a few parents worried about Sungjin outside and he couldn’t really blame them. They had no way of knowing. 

It was Ayeon who looked the most confused, and why wouldn’t she?

Brian tried his best to look professional - as professional as one could look whilst holding flowers - and looked her in the eye, “I handled it,” he nodded. It was only then that he remembered he should probably actually tell his coworker about the ‘threat’, so he cleared his throat and looked down at the flowers, “It was just a friend of mine- we’re going to catch up later so he was waiting for me-“. 

It wasn’t a complete lie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed you guys sososo much and again I’m so sorry I didn’t update for ten whole days :((  
> It’s also really short but I just needed a bit of filler to get back into the story- I’m really sorry again and I’ll try to keep with this !


	15. Dates and Drives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya girl is back writing on the laptop late at night ! its so much easier honestly so I hope I can make this one longer for you guys cause ilyasm  
> edit : I wrote like half of this on the lapto late at night and the other half on my phone in the bath- y’all know what’s up

In retrospect it was probably only fifteen minutes, and yet it felt like hours later that Sungjin's new favourite person came walking out of the school gates.

It was his fifth or sixth trip around the block and honestly at this point he could describe it in his sleep. He was tired out at this point so he could definitely go for some coffee- or maybe he could just get high on that beautiful smile? He had only just stopped the car to let the other in and yet he could see how intoxicating it was from a mile away.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the car door open, but luckily he wasn't too shocked to look less cool. Because we all know that Sungjin is very cool.

"Where to?" He raised an eyebrow at the younger, "I believe I owe you a cup of coffee."

_If he saw that smile much more he was going to melt._

"Well that would be a secret, but you need directions," _there it was again_ , Sungjin nodded as Brian clipped his seatbelt into place. "So left,"  
"Left it is, but this better be damn good coffee I'm trusting you princess." Brian was nodding now,  
"It's the best coffee, and you deserve it and I need it.

Sungjin just nodded at that. He definitely trusted the younger man and he apparently deserved this coffee. He would also never be able to deny Brian of anything that he _needed_ He was a nice person after all. 

So without a word, Sungjin made the turn and looked over to his passenger for more instructions. 

It was a fairly quiet ride, but it was definitely an amiable silence. Sungjin eventually pulled up at a quaint little coffee shop. It was closer to his side of town than he had expected, in fact only a few blocks away from his own shop. “I come here all the time,” Brian smiled at him, “But I’m glad that I kept walking the other day.”

And with that, they left the car and walked through the cutesy little door. 

Sungjin and Brian had just stepped into which was unofficially their first date. At least this would be the first date they always remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry again the chapter yesterday was so short, i really just needed to get back into the story  
> I’m sorry my notes are outdated too like dang- I started writing this the day after the last chapter but I just couldn’t finish it- then I had a birthday and now my prom is tomorrow. I’m really trying to wrap up this chapter :)  
> I realise that it still isn’t all that long but I may be hitting this dreaded writer’s block sjsksjs stick with me okay !


	16. Hopes and Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea if this is going to be decent or just bad like my other recent updates but here goes nothing

Ever since he had first walked in, this had been a magical place for Brian.

Okay, so maybe _magical_ was a bit of an overstatement, but this particular coffee shop had always felt like home to Brian. It was a quaint little coffee shop that he had come across years ago when he had first moved back to Seoul, a time when he felt a little out of place. And though its name ('The Coffee Bean') was just a little bit cringy, it fit the place perfectly. Walking into this place had always felt right, and yet walking in with Sungjin was a whole other level. This felt personal, so very personal to him and yet more right than anything had ever been. The sheer feeling of walking into this place with _the_ Park Sungjin was somehow the happiest he had ever been.

 _What was this anyway?_ It was definitely _weird_ , he was going out for coffee with his tattoo artist for god's sake - but on the other hand it was a damn good coffee shop and this wasn't his idea. That still didn't explain why they were holding hands - ah right, so he could drag Sungjin to his favourite table - wait, Brian had initiated this? Well that definitely made _no sense whatsoever at all_ then again neither of them were complaining. What was it about Park Sungjin that made him look so terrifying and yet so huggable? What was it about that stupid smile that made him melt inside? 

"The usual today Bri?" Oh right, this was a coffee shop,  
"Two please-" he smiled up at the friendly face, "Thanks Kevin!"

Brian really couldn't help but just watch the man in front of him- he was honestly fascinating. Park Sungjin was a man of few words it seemed, though he himself seemed rather apologetic about it - Brian just found it endearing. "How long have you been tattooing then?" He asked quietly, almost feeling as if he was disturbing the other man by asking the question, "I think it's been around three years now," the older nodded to himself, "It's been quite difficult to stay open at some points, but I hope I never have to go back,"

He nodded as he sipped at the coffee which had been given to him, “You do an amazing job- I mean I don’t have anyone to compliment it and I can’t exactly see my own back I don’t know where I’m going with this sentence,” Brian couldn’t help but smile at his own awkwardness, “You’re just amazing really.” Sungjin nodded at that, but he also seemed to be entranced by his coffee, “I might be good, but I’ve got nothing on this place for being a successful business they deserve this-“  
“This is a quiet place,”  
“Then somebody should tell the world about it they're geniuses and you’re a genius for knowing about it.” Brian looked down at his own coffee as he felt a light blush dusting his cheeks, “Hey you said I had a favourite coffee shop, here it is.”  
“I’ll be forever grateful princess, but anyways how’s being back at work?” Brian tried not to let his face drop, he knew that his day hadn’t been that bad. While he was there he could almost forget about Ayeon, but that almost was the problem. As long as he was at that job he would constantly be with her, Baek Ayeon would always be a part of his life. He didn’t want that, he didn’t want it at all. In fact, it was the absolute last thing he could ever possibly want. The job was amazing, the kids were amazing, the co-worker was not amazing. Everything about his day had been just a little less than perfect until Park Sungjin appeared, and for whatever reason he didn’t want to be alone. “Thank you for coming to meet me today,” he finally answered. He felt small, so small and yet so safe with this man he barely even knew. 

Luckily Sungjin seemed to understand at least a little of what he meant, and nodded slightly at his response, “No problem honey, I wanted to see you-“ That made Brian look into his eyes,  
“Why?”  
“You make me happier.” He saw a ghost of a smile grace Sungjin’s lips, but before he could process the meaning of the older man’s words he was speaking again. “So is everything okay with your back? Anything out of the ordinary?” The other sounded legitimately concerned about Brian’s wellbeing, and he couldn’t help but wonder if this was just something he did to all of his customers. “I don’t know what’s normal,” he admitted, “It stings or aches sometimes but nothing else really.” Sungjin nodded, so this must be a normal thing.  
“Well infections aren’t fun, so I’d be happy to check it for you at my apartment- of course it’s really not necessary but I just don’t want you to be in pain-“ Brian had to cut him off before he could ramble any further,  
“I’d like that.” 

And with a smile on both of their faces, they headed out of the coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s an update yaaaay!! I really wanted to get a new update out before I started college so I just want to tell everyone I have the rest of this fic at least semi-planned now up to 25 parts :) we're on the home stretch now kids :’)  
> It’s been a long time so I hope you’re all doing okay, and as always thank you for believing in me <3


	17. Cheaters and Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg a chapter woooow!!! This probably bad chapter is a shout-out to whoever Camila is- for always being happy when I’m back :’)

Was this weird? It felt pretty weird.

To sugarcoat it, Sungjin had done quite a lot of weird things with men. Not even necessarily with men he was interested in, not even necessarily sexual things. He had just done a lot of stuff really. 

But this one definitely felt weird. 

Sungjin had seen a lot of shirtless men in a lot of different situations, he worked in a tattoo parlour for goodness sake. He had even seen _this_ shirtless man, but not in his apartment. 

The really strange thing that Sungjin realised is that whilst he had (rather embarrassingly) dreamt about having this specific shirtless man in his apartment, this really wasn’t the situation he had been dreaming about. 

And yet somehow it was possibly even a little better, the whole thing was oddly domestic. This was basically what any people with tattoos would do, it wasn’t exactly necessary but it just made the whole thing a lot nicer. After all, he had done this with Jae before. 

One thing Sungjin never really realised until he tattooed Brian was that he never really went over the aftercare with his customers, and that was damn important. He always assumed that people had done their own research, that this was a well thought out decision. He never really considered that some of his customers may be unaware of what they were getting themselves into, and perhaps weren’t aware of just how big of a commitment this thing was. 

After talking with Brian he found that he had been taking care of himself a little, but nowhere near as much as he should have been. That’s how he found himself in his current situation, with a shirtless man on his sofa and a bottle of moisturiser which he was carefully applying to the man’s back. 

Despite it’s innocence, the whole thing probably looked very questionable, so obviously it was the natural time for Jae to come home. 

Brian noticed before Sungjin did, obviously the younger of the two was much more observant. Still, he didn’t exactly raise the issue to Sungjin, and whilst Jae would be a bit of an issue anyway - he was an even bigger issue in this case. 

Not that he could exactly blame Brian, after all he hadn’t _told him_ that his roommate was the guy that destroyed his relationship. He probably should have done, given that he had brought Brian here to his apartment where said home-wrecker also lived, but it wasn’t an easy topic to bring up and Sungjin wasn’t that smart. 

He started to panic. This was as good a time to panic as any. Jae wasn’t exactly the most predictable man, and from the slightly taken aback look on his face he could tell that there was no chance of Jae not recognising the man that he had brought home. 

The three of them remained silent, but it wasn’t a comfortable one. Sungjin has no idea what was going through Brian’s head or what was going through Jae’s. Should he speak first? Would Jae speak first? Brian most likely wouldn’t speak first so should he wait for Jae to speak or should he do it? Did he remember how to speak? How does the human mouth work?

”Real weird vibe in here guys-“ Brian commented. Wait he was going to speak first? That was the last thing he expected to happen and quite honestly he hadn’t finished with his internal panic yet. “Is this weird?” He turned around to face Sungjin, those beautiful eyes searching his for some hint. So trusting, but so confused. Seriously how did the human mouth work? How was he supposed to string together any kind of coherent sentence to reassure this amazing man that everything was okay when he knew what he knew? He found himself instead taking in a mental image of his face, his body, he found himself analysing every part of Brian Kang as if it was the last time, because it likely would be. Actually, how had he been living with himself so far? 

The tension in the air was getting thicker by the second, it really should be Sungjin who cuts it right? “I’ve seen him doing much weirder things don’t worry,” his head snapped up at the sound of Jae’s voice- _what the fuck kind of comment is that to make_? It felt like this moment had lasted hours, like this was an eternity. If Sungjin ever found himself in Hell, this would be it. This moment on repeat for all eternity. He that if he was ever going to kiss Brian Kang, he should do it now. Not because it was any kind of romantic moment but because he felt that he wouldn’t get any other chance. He was tempted, so tempted that he barely even registered the hand on his shoulder gently pulling him away. “I just need to have a word with my roommate if that’s okay-“ he was vaguely aware of Brian nodding as he was pulled towards the kitchen. 

This was crisis mode. This was a crisis. Brian was going to hate him, he was sure of it. 

”Does he know?” Surely Jae already knew the answer to that question! Was it not obvious how unaware Brian was about this whole thing? Would he not have had a different impression had he known what was going on?

“Yes that was a stupid question Bob I know that,” he sighed and rolled his eyes as he looked at Sungjin. Maybe Jae knew him a bit better than he thought? Or a lot better. Or maybe he was just a mind reader. “You’re going to eat yourself up inside until he knows.” Sungjin nodded his head at that, it was technically true. “You’re not going to be able to tell him.” This time he shook his head, there was no way he could tell him, when _did_ Jae get his mind-reading licence anyway? “So I have to tell him.” Now that one left Sungjin shocked. He knew logically that it was the best option but he never expected to be faced with it. In fact ideally he would have gone back in time an hour or two and gone back to Brian’s place, or at least texted Jae to stay away for a while. He didn’t want any of this to happen, he wasn’t ready yet. But he still found himself being dragged back into the living room. 

Brian had utilised his time away from the two to put his shirt back on, which Sungjin thought was certainly a smart move on his behalf. For some reason Jae was pushing him back down onto the sofa as he sat himself on the floor in front of the two. He got to see that beautiful soft smile of his as he sat down, and found himself smiling weakly back. This wasn’t okay. Nothing about this was okay. “Is everything alright?” He addressed Sungjin and he felt his heart melt in his chest. No Brian, it wasn’t alright any more than it was okay. 

”Bob’s brain appears to have crashed so I’m afraid this is going to be a me-and-you kinda conversation,” Jae chimed in from the floor. That made Brian look more concerned than anything, “Well is he okay?” He looked over at him again and frowned slightly, obviously it was adorable but goddamn Sungjin did not ever want to put that look on his face ever again. “He’ll be fine soon,” Jae nodded “And since we haven’t done this bit yet, I’m Jae and you’re Brian cool?” He was aware of Brian shuffling just that little bit closer to him and resting his head on his shoulder. Honestly he wanted to melt all over again because this man was _too cute_ and he deserved a whole lot better than any of this. Brian Kang deserved the world. 

”We know something you don’t know and it’s making him anxious.” At that, Brian looked confused again, “Just tell me you’re not axe murderers and move on I’m sure I’ll be fine-“ he cracked a slight smile and looked up at Sungjin again. _Why did he have the urge to kiss him again?_ “Nothing like that- I just know your ex is all.” Why on earth would Jae put it like that? That’s not a good way to tell people things? What was he doing? “Lots of people know Ayeon she’s a popular person,”  
“We’ve been dating for three months,” Jae admitted.  
“We’ve only been broken up for a week or so-“ the confusion on his face was quickly replaced with realisation and Sungjin almost felt as if he could pass out. Brian wouldn’t want to stay here with him anymore. Brian wouldn’t want to see him again, not after he had kept this from him. “Did you know?” He heard Brian ask, almost as if he was scared of the answer. “Since the beginning- but I tried to get her to tell you I really did, and I’m so sorry.” Jae couldn’t keep up his eye-contact anymore, Sungjin was impressed he had kept it up for this long. “And did he know?” Brian looked towards Sungjin, but he couldn’t look back. “He knew my girlfriend was cheating on another guy, and he figured out it was you when he met you.” Sungjin squeezed his eyes shut. He really couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t bear to watch Brian walk away for the last time. Amazingly, he stayed put. Brian’s head stayed on his shoulder, he felt a light kiss on his cheek. Time stood still. 

”Do you love her?”  
“I tried not to, I tried to leave like I knew I should. But yes, I love her.” Jae smiled weakly and Brian nodded slightly,  
“Then I hope she treats you right.”

On those words, Brian placed another soft kiss to Sungjin’s cheek and stood up with some excuse about it getting late to leave. Sungjin always hated watching Brian leave. 

Sungjin and Brian weren’t any kind of romantically involved, and yet this hurt more than when Jaebum had left him. 

Park Sungjin knew that he would never see Brian Kang again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooooow I’ve updated again :’) love y’all!  
> This may be the longest chapter I’ve ever written and I’m just dang


	18. Suns and Moons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg three updates!! It’s me writing!!

Alright, maybe it was a little selfish of him to leave right after that conversation. 

He _did_ feel bad about it, but he had gotten everything he wanted out of that conversation and it wasn’t looking like Sungjin was in any state to drive him home any time soon. Brian had walked to work that day and it was getting really dark, which made this neighbourhood look even dodgier than it had in the daylight. It wasn’t exactly somewhere Brian _wanted_ to die. 

Still, he found himself thinking about Park Sungjin all day at work. About how upset he seemed for reasons Brian didn’t quite understand. 

That was how he found himself back at the little tattoo parlour on the other side of town, but he did at least have a decent new excuse to spend more time with the other. Brian wasn’t sure why he felt the need to make excuses to spend more time with Sungjin, but he wasn’t about to question that now. 

It was around 4pm when he pushed open the door, the shop was seemingly empty at the time but it was open nonetheless- he knew Sungjin hid in the back sometimes. 

Sure enough, the man himself popped round the doorway- though he seemed quite off-guard at who he saw. “You’re not my four o’ clock-“ Brian smiled a little awkwardly, “I just wanted to see that you were feeling better I guess,”   
“Why wouldn’t I be fine?”   
“You just seemed upset I guess- you are okay though right?” Why was Sungjin looking at him like that? As if he just wanted him to go away? “I don’t need any pity Brian, there’s really no reason for you to be here.” Ouch.   
“I’m not here to pity you-“ he began, getting just slightly irritated (and a little upset) at the other’s tone, “As far as I’m aware there’s no reason why you should be pitied, I just wanted to see you.”

Sungjin looked shocked at his little outburst, and to be honest Brian was a little surprised with himself as well. “I don’t know why I’m so drawn to you okay? But I felt like if I didn’t see you today then something inside me would break. I don’t really have any friends alright?” He added quietly. The other man had gone rather quiet as well, “You’re not mad?” His voice, barely above a whisper and yet it sounded clearer than a bell in Brian’s brain. He finally registered the change in how the other looked at him, how broken he looked. “Why would I be mad?” Had he caused this? Was he the reason Sungjin was snapping at him one second and now looked like he wanted to cry? Of all the emotions he expected to see come from Park Sungjin this was not one of them. And Brian absolutely hated it. “Because I didn’t tell you-“ was that all? Brian found himself letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, “Are you serious? I wouldn’t have told me-“  
“You wouldn’t?”  
“Sungjin, I’ve known you like a week and half. I’ve only seen you a few times when would you have told me? It’s not something you can bring up in casual conversation,”   
“So you’re mad that we told you?” Where had Sungjin gotten this idea that he was mad? “Of course not, that was an appropriate time- it is information about me after all,” Sungjin looked a little comforted by his words. “You’re really not mad?”  
“I’m really not mad, I just like being around you-“ Brian blushed slightly at his own words, “I wanted to see you.” He smiled. 

Now he really wasn’t expecting the hug, but Sungjin was full of surprises today and he definitely wasn’t complaining about this one. “I’m sorry,” he heard the older man, still much quieter than usual, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for you absolute dork-“ he laughed slightly as he hugged him back. “Please don’t be sorry, but also please don’t let me walk back home from there again it’s dark and scary-“ Sungjin practically jumped back at that, holding Brian at arm’s length and searching his eyes. “Who mugged you and what did they take I’ll get it back I swear to god those bastards-“  
“Woah- nobody mugged me I’m fine, though that’s a terrifying thought-“  
“Brian you don’t need to protect anyone, including me I can take whoever it was don’t you worry-“ Brian’s eyes widened at the realisation of how dodgy this area actually was, and yet he was still glad to see Sungjin getting back to some kind of normalcy, “I really wasn’t mugged or anything- I promise, it was just dark and scary.” He nodded slightly, looking deep into the other’s eyes to try and convince him he was telling the truth. “You’re really okay? Nothing happened?” Brian nodded, “And you walked all the way home?” Another nod. “Then that’s an actual miracle- you should have called a taxi you idiot I can’t have you dying on me.” They apparently we’re hugging again. 

”You’re so unreasonably sweet and slightly terrifying-“ Brian commented as he held the other close to him. “That’s my sweet spot- you’re welcome,” he chuckled and Brian found himself joining in for a moment before he remembered why he had come.

”So I was thinking about the moon right?”   
“Like the moon moon in the sky or the one on your back?”  
“Bit of both really- anyway the moon is so lonely,”   
“It’s beautiful-“   
“Yeah it is but it’s so lonely and kinda useless and the only reason we can even see it is because the sun’s like right there you know?”   
“Is there a point to this?”   
“Well the moon is basically just nothing without the sun- and I’ve been really lonely and everything kinda like the moon and I think maybe you light me up a little- or maybe a lot,”  
“Bri, I’m not exactly a sunny person if that’s what you’re implying-“  
“No but you make me look better and you’ve got my back and my moon is lonely,” he pouted slightly, hoping the other would get what he meant. 

”Hang on, are you just trying to ask me for a sun tattoo?” Brian looked down at his toes and smiled slightly, “As long as that’s okay-“   
“Good God Brian of course it’s okay that’s my job- I’m paid for that. You are the most awkward customer I’ve ever had.”   
“Are weekends okay? And also who’s going to come up with flimsy excuses to see each other all week until then?”  
“Any day of the week is fine and you have my number- I’m sure you can survive a couple of days. If not you know where I’ll be-“   
“Right right, normal people aren’t this weird with relative strangers I get it,” he grinned. “I’ll sort the rest of the details out with you on the phone,”   
“Good boy, now do you need me to call you a cab today? Since it’s a miracle you’re not dead yet from walking around here-“  
“I’ll be fine it’s still light,” Sungjin didn’t look entirely convinced but nodded anyway, “Just stay vigilant then-“ he said as he walked to the back of the shop, a pretty weird time to walk away, Brian thought, but whatever. Before he could turn to leave however, he felt something fairly heavy being draped around his shoulders, “Put this on whenever you come around here okay?” He turned to face the other and saw that he was being given a jacket, though the reason was unclear to him. “Look everyone around here knows who I am, and they all want to stay on my good side. I can’t keep you safe 24/7 if you’re just going to be wandering the streets, but everyone knows who this jacket belongs to-“ apparently Sungjin could sense his confusion because he had started explaining himself, “Please just trust me on this- but also take care of that it’s my favourite jacket,”   
“Then what are you going to wear?”   
“I know how to survive around here princess, just trust me and stay safe.”

After a couple minutes of back-and-forth, Brian realised he wasn’t getting home without this jacket, and he had to admit it was comfortable- or perhaps comforting was a more fitting word. The leather was heavier than he was used to wearing, but it’s size practically engulfed Brian and for the first time in his life, he could just about understand why every girlfriend he had ever had had taken one of his hoodies at some point.

Walking home did in fact feel a lot safer now. Brian’s new favourite jacket smelled like Park Sungjin, and if that wasn’t the most oddly comforting thing then the sky simply just wasn’t blue. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	19. Knives and Bartenders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how I just wanted to update this as a last effort before I went back to school and now I’m back to near-daily updates :’) I love you all so much for still being here~

The life of Park Sungjin was possibly getting more and more strange, but in amidst that confusion lay a place of comfort. 

In all his years in Seoul (okay, that’s only three and a half but it still counts), he had always been able to depend on Wonpil and Dowoon to make him feel welcome. Okay, so maybe they had had a slightly rocky start but that didn’t stop them from being some of his best friends. 

Apparently, Dowoon has lived around here since he was born. Supposedly had been running this bar, practically the centre of all even vaguely sketchy people in Seoul, as long as anyone could remember - a rather curious fact given that he was only twenty-four years old, (Dowoon’s explanation for this was simply that he looked similar to his father, and they had been running this place for generations). He was a man of few words. In fact, it took Sungjin around three months before he got anything out of the man other than ‘What can I get ‘ya’ or after a couple of weeks, ‘The usual?’ Sungjin always appreciated that out of him though, a lot of the bartenders back in Busan were far too chatty for his tastes. His dark stance and quiet demeanour could make him look quite intimidating, which made it all the more surprising how much he changed when Wonpil was around. 

How Wonpil had ever even stumbled upon this place (or upon Dowoon), was a complete mystery to Sungjin. Kim Wonpil was a talented law student at a top university when Sungjin had first met him, the man was chatty and all in all just a very sunny presence, this was still true today. What had changed however, was that Wonpil had dropped out of law school and now spent a whole lot of his time giving legal advice to those in the area who needed it. Sungjin has to admit it was a good way to rake in the cash, especially in a place like this where people were at threat of arrest or lawsuit at pretty much any given time. Wonpil didn’t often need to actually attend court, but when Sungjin has seen him there he was a completely different person. To Sungjin’s knowledge, nobody had ever lost a case with Kim Wonpil on their side. 

The two made a rather odd pair, but something was definitely working. They had been married almost two years now and Sungjin only saw the two get happier each time he came in, today was no exception. 

Sungjin was a rather familiar face at the bar, and that definitely worked in his favour. As he had quickly discovered, anyone who was an outsider from this community was a target, and that was something you did not want to be. In fact, making friends with Wonpil and Dowoon was quite possibly the best thing he had done for himself since moving here. Any outsider is simply unwelcome until they prove themselves, but being around the pair certainly made it a lot easier, sure there were less violent ways to prove you belonged, but not many of them would really stick. 

His past aside, Sungjin could always rely on this place to give him a sense of belonging. Whether he was here to work on some new sketches or simply to relax, he could never get away from Wonpil. 

When he had first started coming here, he had wondered if Wonpil was this nice to all of his customers. He was definitely chattier than Dowoon both behind the bar and in front of it, but as he sat at his regular booth today, surrounded by sketches with the younger man talking his ear off, he realised that there were countless other patrons that he could be annoying instead. Not that Wonpil was unbearably annoying. 

”This all looks a little different to what you usually come here to draw-“ Wonpil speculated, picking up one of the more intricate designs he had drawn up for Brian and inspecting it closely, “It’s beautiful- hyung are you finally growing emotions?” Sungjin took the piece of paper back from him and placed it gently back on the table, “I’ve always had fully functioning emotions thank you very much-“  
“Sounds like something a robot would say,”  
“Are you like this with your husband?” Wonpil shook his head, “If I irritate him too much he just ignores me,”   
“And how much is too much?” Sungjin smiled mischievously at the other and received a light slap on his arm in reply. 

”You make everything look beautiful though, seriously,” Sungjin nodded as he could hear the sudden seriousness in Wonpil’s voice. “You gonna let me stab you any time soon then?”  
“Fuck no to your needles-“ Sungjin laughed,   
“This is for Brian, who's possibly even more pathetic than you are-“ Wonpil slapped him again, though this time Sungjin didn’t really get why until the other spoke again, “The famous Brian Kang? That’s why it’s so beautiful, you are so totally whipped.” Wonpil grinned.   
“I haven’t even told you abou-“  
“Right because Jae doesn’t talk, haven't I told you that you can’t hide anything from me?” Sungjin sighed at that, “That does often prove to be true-“   
“So why do you keep trying hm?”  
“I haven’t been trying to hide anything! I just haven’t seen you-“ Wonpil pouted and it made Sungjin feel like faceplanting the table in front of him, “Can’t I work in peace for once?”   
“Absolutely not happening in my bar,” Oh great, it was another person to irritate him. At least this one brought alcohol with him, “What’s going on Dowoon?” He looked up and smiled politely,   
“What do you mean what’s going on? We never do anything new but you’ve been hiding from us.”   
“Not accurate-“  
“Then who’s this Brian that Jae’s been telling us about?” Sungjin _did_ bang his head on the table then, he really wasn’t escaping an interrogation today. “He’s just really pretty okay?” He sighed, “Are you happy?” Dowoon looked over at Wonpil for a second before shaking his head, “No, we need pictures-“ Sungjin sighed as he reached into his pocket for his phone, he knew by now that there was no escaping these two once they had set their minds on something. 

”Wonpil can you ring my phone? I can’t find it-“  
“That’s a great excuse that’ll fall apart as soon as we hear your phone ringing,” Wonpil replied, tapping Sungjin’s contact and waiting to hear the familiar ringtone and putting the phone on speaker. Surely enough, the only ringing could be heard through Wonpil’s phone. That was until someone picked up the phone,  
“Hello?” Sungjin let out a sigh of relief at the familiar voice, “Bri is that you?” He called out, just to be sure,  
“Sungjin I think you left your phone in your jacket-“  
“I realise that princess-“  
“That’s a stupid thing to do Sungjin-“ he couldn’t help but crack a smile,   
“It sure is,”   
“You’re really stupid-“ The line was silent for a while,   
“So, you need it back or what?”   
“I mean preferably now-ish, you busy?”  
“Not really- depends where you are,”  
“I’m at the bar-“ he bit his lip softly, realising that he might have to give directions,   
“The one near your shop?” Sungjin smiles at that, he forgot that the other was so observant,   
“That’s the one, see you soon?”   
“About half an hour, on my way-“   
“Wear the jacket?” He could practically hear the other rolling his eyes,   
“Wouldn’t be seen without it, see you soon.” And just like that he hung up on him.

”I like him,” Wonpil smiled and pointed down to the phone, “But did you give him your jacket?”   
“It’s not safe around here! I wanted him to feel safer okay- he’s _really_ pretty-“  
“I gave Wonpil a knife when he started coming around here,” Dowoon stated flatly and Wonpil nodded, “Pulling knives on people is a good way to make them go away- unless they also have knives…”   
“Most people have knives!” Both Wonpil and Dowoon nodded in unison, “It’s a scary world for those without knives.”   
“I personally was very scared before I had a knife,”

Sungjin felt like he was surrounded by idiots- but he still couldn’t go anywhere until Brian actually showed up. Besides, these particular idiots would never let it go if he didn’t let them see how pretty his little crush was- and they would probably follow him home. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Sungjin found himself turning every time the door opened, only to be disappointed. In fact when Brian did come in, it took him a minute or so to actually realise. Sure, Sungjin thought he could recognise him anywhere, it’s just that he was looking for him to walk in alone. Groups of people came in here all the time, even if one of them was only kind of conscious that was still only slightly less common. So naturally he would disregard the group, especially since he used to know it’s members - specifically one of them - so personally and would really rather avoid them. 

Wasn’t that common procedure? To avoid your ex and his friends no matter what kind of shifty stuff they were trying to pull off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone rejoice for Wonpil and Dowoon are here and they’re soft gay husbands!   
> And because I’m definitely not setting up anything shifty at all


	20. Cupcakes and Ex-Boyfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer brain : and now we wait for people to read the chapter so that they can react to it and we leave them on a cliffhanger !  
> Reader brain : more ! more now write more now :)

Brian was having a pretty good day. 

He had managed to mostly avoid Ayeon at work again, the kids had been nothing less than angels, he saw Sungjin and even had his jacket, and now he got to see Sungjin _again_. It was definitely shaping up to be a good day and it was almost over so nothing could possibly go wrong. 

That’s what he was thinking to himself as he selected a lovely looking cupcake for Sungjin, they had stopped at the coffee shop yesterday but only had the coffee- Brian wanted Sungjin to have the whole experience. Maybe that was a bit of a stupid thing to do, and he didn’t really plan to stay long, but everyone loves cupcakes.

What he didn’t see was the group of men just outside waiting for him to come out, but in Brian’s defence he had no reason to look out for them or to be suspicious of them. People were in places all the time, that was just kinda what the planet Earth was like. 

So naturally he was pretty surprised to suddenly be surrounded by these seven men when he had his cupcake and was ready to get on his merry way over to Sungjin. Apparently that was not going to happen no matter how many polite ‘excuse me’s’ he could utter. 

”Where the fuck do you think you’re going with that?”   
“My cupcake?”

Now Brian was not a courageous man by any definition, so this certainly wasn’t a situation he was comfortable in. He was however very confused as to why these people were so interested in his cupcake, because to his knowledge it was pretty much the only thing he was actively carrying.

”The jacket.” One of the men had stepped forward slightly to move in front of him, he was slightly shorter than Brian but obviously in a much better shape, his arms were crossed over his chest as he addressed him. He was obviously trying to be intimidating and Brian would be lying to himself if he said it wasn’t working, at least on him. “I’m going to see my friend-“ he tried, hoping his voice came out sounding at least a little sure of himself, “Which friend is this?”   
“Park Sungjin,” he spoke clearly, almost rehearsed with how much Sungjin had told him to stay out of trouble, that he could handle it. “If that were the case then we would know who you are now wouldn’t we?”   
“Well I don’t know who you are either, so I guess it’s not such a small world after all.” Brian made sure to keep eye contact with the other, because that one self-defence class he had taken told him that you had to at least _try_ and look like you weren’t terrified. At seemed that the other man knew this as well, except that he looked away first. It didn’t feel like much of a victory though, as Brian saw him now playing with a knife in his fingers. “It’s funny you’d mention that you’re friends with Jin as he and I are quite close,”   
“Oh?”  
“Well we dated for a fair amount of time- but I do know one thing,”   
“And what’s that?”   
“That Park Sungjin would die before he willingly gave that jacket to anyone.” The man was behind him now, and he felt him coming closer. “Now tell me, do you often steal from your friends?” 

The man enveloped him from behind, almost like a back hug. He was in the middle of thinking that that was an oddly pleasant thing to do before he felt sharp-edged steel resting against his throat. “Should we go find Sungjin and find out?” 

That was the last thing Brian remembered from before he passed out. 

He didn’t remember arriving at the bar.

The first thing Brian remembered from after that was his voice. He was shouting a lot, was he mad at him? But _his_ name wasn’t Jaebum? Who else was that yelling?

Now someone was touching him- weren’t they done with him by now? But it felt much nicer than when the other men were dragging him, there was no weight on his feet. Was Brian still on the ground? He can’t be, he can feel someone carrying him. It seemed like a nice someone, so he decided to nuzzle into them, they were warm. Whoever was carrying Brian was warm and smelled like vanilla- Sungjin’s jacket smelled like vanilla. Was this Sungjin? 

He felt his eyes begin to open, there was a man there but it wasn’t Sungjin. It was some scary looking guy, Brian would have jumped away if it wasn’t for whoever was holding him like he was some kind of child. So someone was holding him- Brian looked up and there was Sungjin, all handsome and stuff like he always was - he looked really concerned for some reason. 

Everyone was being really quiet for some reason, talking all silently - maybe Brian just couldn’t hear. He wanted to keep looking at Sungjin so he did - because Sungjin looked really handsome and he smelled like vanilla. It was good. 

All of his senses came back at once. The world looked less hazy, everything was pretty loud. “Where’s my cupcake gone?” He asked Sungjin, looking around on this table they were suddenly at. He didn’t have a cupcake anymore. “I bought you a cupcake-“ he frowned slightly. “What’s going on?” Everything was confusing, he had never been to this place before, there were two people he didn’t know staring at him and from what he could gather he was sat in Sungjin’s lap. 

”You really bought me a cupcake?” Sungjin smiled down at him, “You are unpredictably adorable- but that’s not important,” Brian frowned at that, “It’s not?”   
“Of course not, are you okay?”   
“That depends on if anybody slit my throat-“   
“Nobody slit your throat baby, you’d be dead.” Brian whined, “Then what was the point of the knife?” He looked up at the other, waiting for an answer. “See hyung I told you, you should get him a knife.” Brian tried to get himself even closer to Sungjin, drown himself in vanilla, “Scary stranger-“   
“Hey that’s okay that’s Dowoon- he kicked the scary men out so you could be okay over here with me,”   
“Nice scary stranger?” He questioned, looking at the man suspiciously, “Very nice scary stranger, nobody here is going to hurt you princess- I won’t let them.” He nodded at that, Brian could trust Sungjin. “But now you don’t have a cupcake-“ Brian pouted and Sungjin just laughed. “You, here and safe is better than anything else- you’ve been super brave okay? You wanna go home?” Brian nodded, “Home for work-“   
“That’s right princess, let’s get you home for work alright?” Sungjin stood up slowly, “You wanna walk or do I have to carry you hm?”   
“Are you coming?”   
“As if I would let you walk home by yourself now-“ Sungjin rolled his eyes. Brian just cuddled into Sungjin, “You smell too nice-“ 

Brian doesn’t know when he fell asleep again, but he made sure to leave his spare key out for the man fast asleep on his sofa before he left for work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :’) I’m so happy you guys are still here with the support <3


	21. Promises and Broken Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started college  
> ‘Twas boring  
> ^^ note written yesterday, less boring but still far too much free time (and apparently if you sit by yourself long enough the principal shows up in excuse me fork off Paul)

It had been a long week. 

A long week which had been just a little too dramatic for Sungjin’s tastes. He was also the idiot who had said that they could go the rest of the week without seeing each other - which was a stupid idea at least on his end. 

Sungjin had spent the whole week worrying about Brain, he had no idea how he was doing. He was glad that Saturday had finally come around, just so that he could see him again. 

Punctual as always, Brian had beaten him to his shop once again. That smiling face greeting him could probably light up the rest of his year (and maybe the next one too). 

Sungjin would love to spend the whole day just making sure the other man was okay, he longed to show Brian the affection he deserved. Unfortunately, he did have a job.

”But are you sure that you’re doing alright?” Brian probably regretted committing to spend the day with Sungjin considering how much he was fussing over him. It had only been an hour or so, but apparently Sungjin could multitask.

”I’m great! I’m with you~” Sungjin was glad that the other man couldn’t really face him, because he could definitely feel a light blush spread across his cheeks. “And nobody’s giving you any trouble?”  
“Will you relax?”  
“How could I relax? I don’t know you’re safe-“  
“Then how am I supposed to know that you’re safe?”  
“I promise you I’m safe here,” Sungjin sighed, “But I can’t say the same about you.” Brian just stayed quiet, “I wish that I could- I really do,” after still not gaining a response, Sungjin decided to keep talking. “I want you to be okay- are you okay?”  
“I’m not okay-“ The voice could barely even be heard over the quiet buzz of the tattoo machine, and yet it almost broke Sungjin to hear. He almost struggled to turn off the machine and turn the other to face him, “How can I help?”

Brian looked broken. He could barely even look at Sungjin. “It could have been worse-“ He whispered, fear evident in his voice. “Did I do something wrong?”  
“Baby, you did everything right-“  
“Isn’t that worse?”  
“It is worse, it’s horrible, I won’t let it happen again.” Sungjin said firmly, “You’re going to be okay, that’s my promise.” Brian nodded,  
“Do I get to keep the jacket anyway?” Sungjin smiled,  
“How could I say no?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO ILYA  
> It took me forever to write this because it made me hATE MYSELF  
> So yeah alright it’s short I know okay I know 😭


	22. Kids and Cats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I really don’t know what happened to me updating!! I’m really really sorry :(((

Brian had had a very long and yet very short day.

On the one hand, sitting on a (admittedly quite comfortable) chair being stabbed for several hours was certainly not entirely comfortable, and opening up about how afraid he really was, was absolutely not the most relaxing thing and frankly it made for a rather long day.

On the other hand, Park Sungjin has easily become his all-time favourite human being and no amount of time with him could ever be enough. Which to be honest was a little terrifying.

Brian had always been pretty sure that he was almost definitely and certainly a straight man. 

Sure, he could always appreciate an attractive man, he was straight he wasn’t blind. Park Sungjin was 100% the most attractive man he had ever had the pleasure of admiring, and the most interesting, and caring, all huge factors as to why Park Sungjin was his favourite human being.

In fact rather terrifyingly, Brian cared more about Sungjin than he ever cared about Ayeon. He was pretty darn sure that if he had cared about Ayeon this much than she never would have slipped away from him, not that he cared in the slightest.

And perhaps even more terrifyingly, Brian had just realised that he didn’t care about losing Ayeon at all, suddenly he wasn’t sure that he had ever even … loved Ayeon?

If Brian really thought about it - and that means really really _really_ thought about it - did he even find Ayeon attractive? Sure, she was pretty, even a gay man had an idea of what would make a woman conventionally attractive but Brian was not a gay man. Just because he didn’t find Ayeon that attractive didn’t mean he didn’t find any women attractive.

Except that he didn’t.

Brian had never had a crush on a girl, not even once. When he thought back to those he had found attractive, not a single woman ever came to mind. He could think of attractive women, but the list of women that _he_ found attractive was completely empty.

All his life he had been told how a man was supposed to act, his path had been planned out for him and he had never questioned it. Brian assumed that he wanted to settle down, that he wanted a nice wife and some kids and maybe a cat, and that he wanted to provide for them and live a happy life in that way. He had assumed that he wanted to be exactly like his father because it seemed the honourable thing to do and suddenly after knowing Park Sungjin for only around two weeks he realised that the only thing he wanted on that list was the cat. 

Brian never thought he would be the type of man to even step foot in a tattoo parlour and yet now he had two rather sizeable tattoos, one of which was stinging like hell right now, just because he had fallen in love with the guy who owned the shop - and he hadn’t even realised it.

Considering how obvious it now seemed that Brian had been gay his whole life, he thought to himself that he sure was a dense-ass idiot.

Brian had known for a while that Sungjin was gay, heck the man was fairly ripped and covered in tattoos and was calling him princess from their first meeting, but he only just now realised that as strangely he had been acting by wanting to see him all the time, Sungjin had been acting just the same - if not stranger. Sungjin had showed up at his place of work unprompted, without Brian even telling him where he worked, bought him flowers, taken him to his favourite coffee shop and helped him look after his tattoo. He had threatened to hurt anyone who even looked Brian’s way and given him his favourite jacket just so that he could feel safer walking home, he had fought his ex-boyfriend for Brian, let him sit in his lap and even carried him back home just to make sure that he was okay. Sungjin gave Brian his number the first time he met him, and the only impression that Brian had made upon that meeting was heartbroken drunk. So if Brian was in love with Sungjin, was Sungjin in love with Brian too? 

With his shoulder aching so badly (and Brian having stupidly decided to take off his shirt and only wear Sungjin’s jacket, he couldn’t help that it smelled like him and made him feel warm and fuzzy inside), quite possibly the last thing he wanted to do was go anywhere, and yet that still couldn’t stop him from wanting to see Sungjin, bad.

So it was almost out of his control that he was now putting on a clean shirt and walking himself back to the tattoo parlour, because the man waiting inside it was irresistible, and Brian didn’t want to waste a single second by not being close to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this was a long one and I kinda want to write more right nOW as I type this but it’s 2:41 in the morning now and I know that I need to give you guys time to read this- we’re so close to the end now and it’s super exciting :(( I literally have six fics lined up ready to write after this and I absolutely am not rushing and I love this fic so much, but I’m excited to see how my writing will progress :)


	23. Sungjin and Brian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE I WAS WRITING AND THEN I WENT TO ANOTHER APP AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY CLOSED THIS TAB WHILST I WAS ON AIRPLANE MODE IM GONNA KMS TIME TO REWRITE  
> Honestly I’ve been looking forward to writing this chapter all day but my progress being deleted kinda negates that because what I lost was all set-up for the main bit of the chapter hhhh so now the set-up is shorter because I cba :((  
> And now the archive went down whilst I was writing- AO3 DOESNT WANT THIS PUBLISHED GUYS XD

Not to be dramatic or anything, but Sungjin was just about to drop dead with how bored he was.

It’s not that this woman he was serving was particularly boring, in fact any other time he would be rather amused at her situation. She was a regular, came in around once every month or two, always drunk and rambling about her latest heartbreak and demanding that he add to the whole kaleidoscope of butterflies that she had resting on her lower back. 

It’s just that compared to spending most of his day with Brian, this latest butterfly was getting a little tedious. There were at least ten of them now and quite frankly Sungjin wished he could just slap this woman around the face and tell her to get a better taste in men, but that seemed just a little out of order. It wasn’t this woman’s fault that she wasn’t Brian.

It had only been a couple of hours since he had last seen his all-time favourite customer and yet he would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss him. Bad. 

All he could focus on was getting this tattoo done in the next half hour so that he could close up and spend his night with his friends - he had been seeing them less lately - and spend his day off passed out in a booth in the bar that said friends owned. The last thing he wanted was to deal with more people which is why his greatest nightmare was to hear the little ring of his shop’s bell which signified someone else entering.

Obviously his worst nightmare was about to come true. 

Excuse Sungjin for being a little icy this late at night but 10pm seemed a perfectly reasonable time to be almost closing and even though his opening times were inconsistent at best, some people were far less than understanding about that. That’s why he made a point to stay focused on his work as he explained that he would not be serving whoever it was today and they would have to come back some other time. He wasn’t impolite exactly, but Sungjin has never been one to get the ‘customer service voice’ down. Wasn’t in his character.

The last thing he expected was to hear the cheery voice of his favourite customer replying to him, in fact his hand almost slipped when he heard it (which would be a disaster for everyone involved). Though sure enough, when he actually took the initiative to put down his equipment and take a look at him, he was met with the one and only Brian Kang stood right in front of him. He couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

”Back so soon?” He commented as he turned to the younger, “Is everything alright?” He would have been worried if it wasn’t for the huge smile on the other’s face. He would be lying if he said that the other didn’t look adorable, in Sungjin’s own jacket nonetheless. In fact he almost regretted giving him it, he wanted him to be safe but the image of his biggest crush looking so tiny in his favourite jacket was slowly melting Sungjin into a big pile of fluff.

”I just thought we could maybe go to your bar when you’re not busy? Because we said we should go and I guess I kinda went but not really- and I bought you a cupcake as well,” For whatever reason, Brian was blushing. This man stood in front of him, this adorable man right here had walked all this way just to spend time with him and yet he couldn’t even look Sungjin in the eye. He was possibly melting again.

“Did you come all the way over here to read my mind?” He smiled softly and cupped Brian’s chin in his hands to make the other look at him, “I’ve just got to finish some things up okay? Do you want to go wait in the back?” Sungjin noticed that at his confirmation, Brian would finally meet his eyes and Sungjin got to watch up close as his face just lit up, “Yep I can wait- but only because it’s you and you’re so great-“ Sungjin laughed slightly as he lead the other to the back and sat him down, “Just a couple of minutes okay?”

Suddenly he couldn’t get this tattoo done quickly enough. After an eternity of ten minutes, he finally managed to get the woman out and on her way, he could get back to what he at least felt was important. 

Largely that was Brian, but it was also the nice comfy couch he had in the back - and this cupcake he had been promised. He had to stop himself from flopping onto the sofa like he did at the end of every day (this was due to the fact that there was a Brian on his sofa) and instead settled for sitting down like a normal person and grabbing the aforementioned cupcake from the table. “Are the backs of all shops this nice?” He heard Brian’s small voice next to him pipe up, “Well I’ve never been there- but I wanted to make sure that I could stay a couple nights here should it not be able to pay my rent-“ he nodded slightly as he spoke, “And it’s nothing that special anyway.” He smiled slightly at the man next to him as he finished up his last mouthful of cake, “You ready to go?”

Brian walked close to him once they got outside - not that it was a particularly long way to walk. It made it difficult for Sungjin to resist the urge to take his hand- or at least to get even closer to the other somehow, which was a problem because Wonpil and Dowoon would definitely pick up on it. The last thing he wanted was anyone making Brian uncomfortable- he was already pretty sure that this whole neighbourhood was out of the younger man’s comfort zone.

The bar was actually fairly busy when he pushed open the door, so busy that Wonpil didn’t immediately pounce on him the second he entered, however it wasn’t so busy that Sungjin couldn’t claim his usual spot- which actually alerted Wonpil to give a quick wave in his general direction, clearly he was busy. In fact, it wasn’t completely rare, it was likely that someone did something stupid and now they were trying to talk to Wonpil- it always drew a crowd. The trouble came when he looked a little closer, when he saw the expression on Wonpil’s face, when he saw how closely Dowoon was watching his husband, and then _especially_ when he looked up just a little and took a look at who Wonpil was talking to. 

He had done something stupid alright.

Brian didn’t seem to be clued in on what was going on, how could he be? He had never seen this before, and yet it didn’t stop him from noticing that something was wrong with Sungjin. He was not going to let anything ruin Brian’s night.

”Do you mind staying here? Just for a second I need to say hi to my friend-“ he trailed off slightly as he got up and looked distractedly towards Wonpil, “Just- stay, please-“ he waited for Brian to nod slightly before he walked over to Wonpil.

Wonpil still looked incredibly tense and even slightly annoyed, he still hadn’t even noticed that Sungjin was in the bar. “Considering that the man you needlessly assaulted and practically kidnapped isn’t even pressing charges, you’ve come here for what exactly? To piss me off?”  
“To figure out what we’re supposed to do if he does press charges, why would you be pissed?”  
“I put up with a lot of shit around here, I get charges dropped for all sorts of dodgy stuff, but I am not going to sit here and honestly believe the story that you thought someone who was coming out of a _coffee shop_ of all places had stolen from Sungjin. Have you ever even seen Sungjin?”  
“I’ve seen a lot more of him than you have, believe me-“  
“That’s enough of that.” Wonpil practically jumped out of his skin as Sungjin finally made himself known. “My jacket isn't even very valuable Jaebum, why would anyone ever steal it?”  
“It’s important to you, you would never give it to anyone I thought you would be thankful-“  
“You’re right, it’s very important to me- and so is he.”  
“Right, and that makes him important to me and Dowoon as well, so should Brian Kang decide to press charges against you - and for the record I think that he should - than you’ll need to get legal advice from someone else.” Wonpil piped up, “So I also suggest that you get out of here before you embarrass yourself further.”

After the bar had cleared out, Wonpil finally turned to face him, “Seriously though when did you even come in?”  
“Five or ten minutes ago- I was concerned that you hadn’t come to annoy me yet,” he poked him playfully and smiled, Wonpil just shook his head “I’ve been here a long time but that didn’t take _all_ of my morals away- and anyway we need to get some drinks into you,” Sungjin rolled his eyes and simply walked back to his booth after Wonpil had practically ran over to the bar. 

”Everything okay?” Brian always looked up at him as if he was the sole being that mattered in the universe, at least whenever he was at a level where Brian had to look up at him anyway, “It’s fine,” he smiled softly as he sat down, “My ex-boyfriend was fighting with my friend because he wouldn’t give him what he wanted, but it’s okay,” Brian nodded and rested his head on Sungjin’s shoulder, “Is your friend okay?”  
“Oh he’s fine,” Sungjin smirked, “You don't want to be the reason why Wonpil is angry,” He kissed the top of Brian’s head softly. 

As if on cue, Wonpil came practically bouncing towards the booth dragging along poor Dowoon, who looked like he was about to have a heart attack trying not to spill all the drinks he was carrying before he could put them down on the table, “Wonpil wouldn’t let me bring beers because he says that Brian here doesn’t look like a beer person,”  
“And I declared it cocktail night-“  
“Right, he also declared it cocktail night because he won’t let me have a beer either-“ Wonpil whined at that,  
“I always have to drink beer and it’s gross and then I can’t have a cocktail because it makes me look really gay,” he pouted at his husband, who just rolled his eyes, “Right, you can backhug me and kiss my neck all day whilst I’m pulling pints but the _cocktail_ is what's making you look gay- well doesn’t that just make perfect sense?” Sungjin tried to hold back a laugh at their conversation, it was true that sometimes he wished he could get a little privacy, he also knew that subconsciously if he really wanted to be left alone than he would hang out somewhere else. 

He watched Brian carefully pick out a colourful drink and happily take a sip. Sungjin sighed to himself, he knew better than to argue if Wonpil has decided that it was cocktail night, he wasn’t getting any beer unless he left. “Wonpil, you are the bane of my existence,” he made sure to glare at the other as he picked up the most subdued looking drink, “I’m not a twink like you I look stupid-“  
“Shut up Sungjin you’re not tough you’re an artist-“  
“A tattoo artist!”  
“Still counts,” Wonpil smiles happily,  
“I literally stab people for a living-“  
“Well I’m sorry about that Mister Piña Colada but if your straight boy friend here can sip a tequila sunrise like it’s no big deal then you can man up and enjoy your pineapple coconuts,” Wonpil smiled happily to himself, but Sungjin had gone into this battle knowing he was going to lose.

”Oh no wait- that’s why I came to see you today I forgot-“ Brian suddenly spoke and Sungjin turned to him, because he obviously had more to say. “You came for tequila? Then you’re welcome~” Wonpil beamed, Dowoon hit him lightly on the arm. “No not for that - but it’s very good thank you - I just figured something out whilst I was at home,” he nodded slightly and stared at his drink for a while. “Care to share?” Sungjin raised an eyebrow and watched the younger carefully, “Oh yeah sure!” Brian then went silent again, suddenly gulping down at least half of his drink, “I’m gay.” Sungjin felt his heart flutter slightly, his crush had finally figured himself out. He made sure to smile at him, he remembered when he had to come out and reactions are the most important, Brian smiles back at him somewhat sadly, as if he had just changed things. “So you found out you were gay and came straight to me huh?” He said that fairly quietly, but Brian was nodding anyway, “And would that be because I’m a Professional Gay?” He prompted, trying to make the other smile for real. It worked- he even got to hear his beautiful laugh, “Yes! I was hoping for some kind of apprenticeship in the art of being Gay-“ he took another sip from his cocktail, “And also for whatever reason I hate it when I’m not with you-“

”Hey you guys should kiss-“ Dowoon hit Wonpil a little harder this time, “Why are you abusing me husband? That’s domestic abuse you know-“ Dowoon sighed,  
“Because you can’t just say stuff like that-“  
“Am I wrong?”  
“No you’re the opposite of wrong-“  
“Then what is your problem?” Wonpil found himself being shut up by a pair of lips meeting his own. When he finally pulled away, Dowoon looked down at the table, “I-I don't like pda but there really is no other way to shut him up-“ the youngest was clearly hiding a blush, Sungjin could see that his ears were red. “Right then I’m sorry to waste your talents but those two,” he gestured to Sungjin and Brian again, “Should still definitely kiss.” 

Sungjin couldn't say he wasn’t tempted, he almost felt like Brian was as well. Still, this wasn’t right.

”Please? Because I would like to revise my earlier statement about my newest friend Brian being Sungjin’s ‘straight boy friend’ and I would like to remove the word ‘straight’ and get rid of the space between ‘boy’ and ‘friend’” Sungjin could see Brian blush even though he kept his gaze cast down- Dowoon was also banging his head repeatedly on the table, but honestly that was fairly normal behaviour.

”I think that maybe-“ Brian started off rather timidly, “That if my lovely Gay Mentor would want to start off my Gay Apprenticeship with some kissing skills than I would be okay with that-“

Sungjin cupped Brian’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You really want to know?” He asked, searching in his eyes for any sign of doubt. “I do,” he nodded slightly, just a hint of a smile gracing his lips.

Sungjin cleared his throat, “Right well first you want to make sure he’s looking at you,” he cupped Brian’s chin again, this time when he turned the other man to face him he didn’t let go, “Because you want to look at him like he’s the only thing that matters because at least in the moment - he is,” Sungjin was starting to feel embarrassed at his little lesson, he was only glad that he wasn’t one to blush. “What next?” Brian whispered, “Well if you can think of something, then you can say something to him, practically anything that fits the mood, no rules in this section,” he said softly, completely focused on the man right in front of him, “But if not, then you can just go right on the the next step-“  
“Oh yeah? What would that be?”  
“I’m glad you asked~” he smiled, “Next thing, you tilt your head just a little, and you start to lean in - slowly, very careful-“ his voice was barely above a whisper, “And you very gently pull him towards you because you want him to lean in as well,” Their lips were only about a centimetre apart at this point, “And then-“ Their lips met. 

The kiss was sweet, slow and careful, and only lasted a few seconds. As he pulled away gently, he rested his forehead against Brian’s, the other breathing slightly heavier than usual despite it only being a short kiss.

”You never finished the last instruction, and then what?” the other breathed out,  
“And then, you kiss him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This honestly took forever to write and correct me if I’m wrong but is this my longest chapter yet??? Yikes kids  
> I wanted to try and get Jae into this chapter since he won’t fit into the next two but I just couldn’t find anywhere to fit him in :(((  
> OKAY JESUS FUCK I THOUGHT THIS WAS LONGER THAN ANYTHING I HAD EVER WRITTEN BUT ITS ALMOST 3000 WORDS PLEASE I DONT THINK MY A GRADE RE ESSAYS HAVE THAG MANY WORDS-

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for getting through this~ I know that it's nowhere near the best but hey attempts were made sjksskjs  
> sorry for any mistakes in this since i just kinda wrote it all in one go--  
> and also absolutely no hate to Ayeon because I absolutely love her but I just kinda needed a girl to break Brian's poor little heart :((  
> I'm also sorry this was so short, but let me know if you guys want any more and I'll try my hardest to keep going with this :)


End file.
